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moti dromit

During my 50’s I after getting divorced from my wife, and coming out, I experienced a number of short-term relationships where physical intimacy was involved. The memory of these affairs is bitter. I know now that it resembled nothing of what people in a committed relationship experience. One doesn't learn about marriage from promiscuity, any more than one learns about Mozart from elevator music
And in today's fast and shallow Facebook world, so many relationships -- even without physical intimacy -- are coming to resemble this emptiness more and more. There can be a kind of promiscuity without physical contact. It occurs wherever people "get to know" one another without coming to care for one another.

Obviously there are many reasons. But I suspect that it is one manifestation of an underlying attitude about what makes for happiness -- the idea that I will be happy if I get just what is perfectly suited to me. Our society constantly promotes the idea that, among the available options, I owe it to myself to obtain the optimal option.
Why is this happening to so many people? Must it happen? Is the community doing all it can to stop it?
People should not be subjected to this. Those who are subjected to it have to try to face it with courage and faith. But we should all do some introspection about why this is happening.
This plays out at its ugliest in dating. Since, especially for young men, there are a dizzying number of options available, this makes it very difficult to be certain at any point when one has found "the best person for Me."
The traditional belief that for every person there is a match, who is "perfect" for them, has somehow uncannily morphed into this quest for the optimal mate. People forget that there is such a thing as destiny, in which your ideal match may not be the person you fantasize about, but may become attached to your soul through any set of circumstances.
A few lines come to mind:

Small things depend upon our wish and whim,
But what is great arrives from who knows where.
Looking for perfection is futile, because you will not find it. Nobody is perfect. The only way is to go for percentages, and with commitment you will find true happiness.
Being happy and getting what you want are not synonymous. Rather, happiness comes from taking what comes to you and making the best of it. It means recognizing external constraints, and trying to live well within them. And external constraints include the wishes and needs of others. A young man, who dates another man, gets to know him, enjoys his company, raises his hopes, and then disappears because he thinks he might be able to do a little better, that man is definitely living in a selfish-filled illusion.
But I would ask the community: is there a sense that every human being is precious? Are people sufficiently educated with the tools to counteract the exploitive attitudes of the Western dating system?

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