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ABM

My list would have to include something like:
* no games and
* stability.
It seems to me that the guy I have been dating is very spotty. One day he is very friendly and the next very distant. I never know where I stand and it's driving me crazy. But I'm so afraid of being alone (especially after getting out of a very long relationship) that I'm trying not to jinx anything. My friends tell me not to rely on anything and to be my own person, but I'm not sure how to do that - I've always had a partner at some level or another. What do you suggest Eric? What should I be doing differently?

Dr. Eric

Basic Principle #1: Happy couples start with happy single people.
Basic Principle #2: and if you just got out of a relationship..what criteria are you using to determine that?

Keiichi

My ten Must haves

1. Must be more intellegent.

2. Must be kind hearted.

3. Must respect family where deserved.

4. Must want children.

5. Must be ambitious.

6. Must be curious about other cultures.

7. Must believe in God.

8. Must be very self-confident.

9. Must be patient.

10. Must be able/want to make me laugh.

Sound, sound?

Dr. Eric

These Are really great Keiichi!
Can you be more descriptive behviorally..as to how you will know that they are intelligent and kind hearted????

Keiichi

Well I just don't like it when I don't feel intellectually challenged by a guy. When I say more intellegent I mean someone who at least appears to be processing information faster than I can.
It would just be nice to be able to run certain problems past a partner who can submit a solution or at least an objective opinion which has merit. My partner should be able to keep up.
As far as kind-hearted sorta like the things you mentioned in your interview on Andymatic.com about paying attention to how they handle situations outside or your relationship or how they deal with others. If they are compassionatly compatible for me, they will have similar reactions to certain social situations, make similar "scruple calls", and maybe even find the same things either endering or intolerable. Still too vague I think but that is the best I can come up with as to how to determine this.

Dr. Eric

Well you are definitely getting closer!

This is the power of specifics..the more behaviorally based you can get with your descriptions here the easier it will be for you to spot it...many of us have trouble being specific about this kind of thing..so don't dispair...keep plugging away...for instance...if we were watching your future partner to be in a movie, what sort of things would he be saying or doing?

See if that helps!

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