He's just too into you!

Have you ever dated anyone who was just too into you?  They are enthused and clearly overly zealous about you.  Overly complimentary and pushing for marriage way before the timing might be mutual

What goes on here...people who are clearly nice, very often attractive acting like pushy teen agers...a real turn off and rarely get second dates.  Well if you have had this experience or have actually been the chaser then listen up.  You will want to know this for future reference.

The chaser/chasee phenomena is a simple one.  As long as someone energetically chases than someone consequently will be the chasee.  What happens here is that the chasee has no space in the interactions to chase himself.  So without the back and forth the chasee is literally pushed out and probably disgusted by what appears to be neediness and desperation.  We all like attention but we all have different tolerations for how much we can take at any given time.

Relax and take your time.  Easy does it there cow boy.  Give a guy half a chance to meet you half way.

Comments

[ABM]

I cannot more highly recommend reading Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus. Seriously, I can't believe all the crap that goes on in my head and why I do and say the things I do. Our minds aren't as cut and dry as John Gray would make them out to be here, but there's a lot of truth in what he says.

[bri]

I have been chased for years by a casual acquantance. I have now gone out on dates with him but I am not sexually attracted to him much. He is into me though. He is otherwise someone I like very much but not liking the sex and less than gratifying kisses, etc. I don't know what to do. I would like to retain a friendship but I guess the sex ends it since it has started.

[Eric G. Schneider, D. Min.]

Hey there,
Thank you for your question.

This issue comes up a lot and there are a couple of different aspects to address.

1. It is my philosophy that a pain free dater is someone who does the choosing and is conscious about their choice making.

While being chased may be flattering it usually is not the best start for a long term relationship.

2. Having a friendship with someone who is chasing you is very challenging at best and usually does not work because the chemistry has been tipped in this person.

3. Sex is very important in a relationship and sexual attraction is as well and should never be underestimated. While it does not define a relationship it is an important aspect of one.

Have you taken the free e course yet??

[Simon Hylands]

I think I have just lost a guy by chasing too much. I think I was just too keen to organise a second date. He was definately interested... is there anything I can do to entice him back?

[EC]

My close friend wants to be in an intimate relationship with me. I've never been with another man before. How can I overcome the mental blocks I might have about being in a relationship with him, both on a physical and emotional level?